Ode to Aragorn
Oh how much I lovest thee
When I'm coming down with chicken pox
And I'm quarantined in bed and
You're between my legs
And I'm watching all your films
Back to back non-stop for 9 hours.
I relish your grassy, muddy smell
As I roll your figure down the slope
I love your fixed noble brow
Till my brother, my brother who died
Melted it off with a cigarette lighter,
Plastic fumes overwhelming your
Fantastic smell of sweat.
I love it when you say
"Let's hunt some Orc!"
It makes me jump up and down
With ecstatic fervour
And I say "Where?"
I love your imitation furry chest
And I adore your bedraggled hair
Which I stroke heatedly
When feeling repressed
But most of all I love you
Because you're not real.